i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
