carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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