Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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