There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
We were destined to go to rehab together
When did angry sex become our thing?
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
