you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
My vagina is officially offended.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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