Four minutes until I can fart!
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
