Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
