so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Randomize
