You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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