This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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