i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
He did a backflip because drugs
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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