she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
