i would punch a child for taco bell
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
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