epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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