butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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