drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
No subtext here. People are naked.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
