fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
