Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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