BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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