Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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