Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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