Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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