i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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