whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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