how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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