It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
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