i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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