My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
