glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
