Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
It was confusing and full of hummus
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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