she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
