I never want to see another naked old woman again.
you would pick up someone in the library
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Randomize
