i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
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