so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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