i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
