Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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