i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
