chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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