Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
