im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
