she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Randomize
