Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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