sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Randomize
