now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Randomize
