lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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