I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Randomize
