you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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