come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
