I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
