my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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