never play flip cup with pint glasses
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
