It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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