Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
