How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
soo... how was my night?
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
