I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
