would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
