im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
