how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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