I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Randomize
