At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
