hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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