yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
