Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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