you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Randomize
