i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I fill condoms, not promises.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Randomize
