Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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